he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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