I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
