I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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