end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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