every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize