I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
