I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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