Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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