The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
