your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
sex in a hospital.. check
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
