i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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