I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
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