I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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