hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
