y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
