my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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