Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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