Your dad touched me again.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
