I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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