He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
