apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What changed your mind?
Being sober
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The Olympian is in my bed
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