He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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