I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
