I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
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I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
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It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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