My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You ate ashes out of my bong
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize