I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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