I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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