i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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