we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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