he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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