I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A+ Viking dick
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
