My room smells like vodka and shame
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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