i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
