i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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