standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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