I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize