he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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