I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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