Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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