I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
