Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
