Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
