im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
a search helicopter?!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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