My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize