Don't you send me to vm
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize