shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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