if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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