i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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