even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
