i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
