Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
