he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
