we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
