my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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