I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
