at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
