What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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