I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
