Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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