wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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